Got this interesting article from here. very good to practice & applicable to any situation. I think I used this approach whenever I faced problem during my PhD :).
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Have you heard of the 90/10 Principle. When I first received an email from my ex-colleague a few years back regarding this principle, it made pondered and at that moment everything pertaining to this principle which I've undergone started to make me realise how uncivilised we've been when reacting to situations.
For those who has never heard of the 90/10 Principle, read on further to discover it and for those who has read or heard of it, probably treat this post as a refresher or recap.
The author of The 90/10 Principle is Mr Stephen Covey. Discover the 90/10 Principle and it will at least change our life or at least, the way we react to situations.
What is this Principle?
Well it consists of 10% of life is made up of what happens to us. While 90% of life is decided by how we react......
What does this mean?
We really have NO control over the 10% of what happens to us.....
e.g. We can't stop....
the car from breaking down,
the plane will be arriving late, which will affect our whole schedule,
a driver may overtake us off in the traffic...., so on and so far.....
However, the other 90% is different, we can somehow or another determine the other 90%.
How?....
Well..... it's by controlling our reaction actually. Let us see the following scenario as an example....
We are having breakfast with our family. Our daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto our business shirt. We have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how we react. We start to curse. We harshly scold our daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, we turn to our spouse and criticise for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. And then a short verbal battle follows. We storm in the bedroom to change a new clothing. Back to the main door and we find the daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to school that she misses the bus. Our spouse must leave immediately for work, thus we have to rush to the car and drive the daughter to school. Because we are late, we drive 60km/hr in a 40km/hr speed limit zone. Obviously we'll get the traffic fine from traffic police on guard along the speed limit zone. After 15 mins delay, the daughter runs into the school without saying goodbye. Then to make things worsen, after arriving late at the office, we realise we left our important documents at home!!!!!
The day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. We look forward to coming home. When we arrive home, we find a small wedge in our relationship with our spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how we reacted in the morning.
Why did we have a bad day?
(A) Did the coffee cause it?
(B) Did our daughter cause it?
(C) Did the traffice police cause it?
(D) Did we cause it?
The answer is "D"
We had no control over what happened with the coffee. How we reacted in those 5 seconds is what that caused the bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.....
Coffee splashes over us. Our daughter is about to cry. We just gently say: "It's OK, dear, you just need to be more careful next time." Then we just change a new clothing, grab our things for work, and finally we see our child getting on the bus to school. She may even turns and waves goodbye to us. Then we arrive to office early and cheerfully greet the other staff.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how we reacted of course. Again the emphasis is we have no control over the 10% of what happens in our life but the other 90% was determined by our reaction.
There are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle.
Scenario 1:
If someone says something negative about us, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. We do not have to let the negative comments affect us. React properly and it will not ruin our day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.
Scenario 2:
How do we react if someone cuts us off in the traffic? Do we lose our temper? Pound on the steering wheel? Do we curse? Do our blood pressure skyrocket? The answer my vougue-ers.... Who cares if they want to overtake us and make us arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin our life? Let it be....
Scenario 3:
Put your worrying aside and always stay happy. For instance you are told you lost your job (wow this is serious!!!). Now why lose sleep and get irritated? InsyaAllah, with God's will, it will work out. And use the worrying energy and time to find a new job instead.
Scenario 4:
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take our your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know other passengers maybe. Why do you need to stress out? It will just make things worse.
_________________________________________________________________________________
So friends.... now you know the 90/10 Principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 Principle is incredible. You will see it by yourself!!!
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. Thus we must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle to change our life. No harm trying and probably we can enjoy it. It will only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experiences. Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it's like a Boomerang. It will come back to us.....
If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first.....,
Maybe we will end with our hands empty, but our heart will filled with love.....
And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts.....
___________________________________________________________________________________
____________________________________________________________________________________
Have you heard of the 90/10 Principle. When I first received an email from my ex-colleague a few years back regarding this principle, it made pondered and at that moment everything pertaining to this principle which I've undergone started to make me realise how uncivilised we've been when reacting to situations.
For those who has never heard of the 90/10 Principle, read on further to discover it and for those who has read or heard of it, probably treat this post as a refresher or recap.
The author of The 90/10 Principle is Mr Stephen Covey. Discover the 90/10 Principle and it will at least change our life or at least, the way we react to situations.
What is this Principle?
Well it consists of 10% of life is made up of what happens to us. While 90% of life is decided by how we react......
What does this mean?
We really have NO control over the 10% of what happens to us.....
e.g. We can't stop....
the car from breaking down,
the plane will be arriving late, which will affect our whole schedule,
a driver may overtake us off in the traffic...., so on and so far.....
However, the other 90% is different, we can somehow or another determine the other 90%.
How?....
Well..... it's by controlling our reaction actually. Let us see the following scenario as an example....
We are having breakfast with our family. Our daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto our business shirt. We have no control over what has just happened. What happens next will be determined by how we react. We start to curse. We harshly scold our daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.
After scolding her, we turn to our spouse and criticise for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. And then a short verbal battle follows. We storm in the bedroom to change a new clothing. Back to the main door and we find the daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to school that she misses the bus. Our spouse must leave immediately for work, thus we have to rush to the car and drive the daughter to school. Because we are late, we drive 60km/hr in a 40km/hr speed limit zone. Obviously we'll get the traffic fine from traffic police on guard along the speed limit zone. After 15 mins delay, the daughter runs into the school without saying goodbye. Then to make things worsen, after arriving late at the office, we realise we left our important documents at home!!!!!
The day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. We look forward to coming home. When we arrive home, we find a small wedge in our relationship with our spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how we reacted in the morning.
Why did we have a bad day?
(A) Did the coffee cause it?
(B) Did our daughter cause it?
(C) Did the traffice police cause it?
(D) Did we cause it?
The answer is "D"
We had no control over what happened with the coffee. How we reacted in those 5 seconds is what that caused the bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.....
Coffee splashes over us. Our daughter is about to cry. We just gently say: "It's OK, dear, you just need to be more careful next time." Then we just change a new clothing, grab our things for work, and finally we see our child getting on the bus to school. She may even turns and waves goodbye to us. Then we arrive to office early and cheerfully greet the other staff.
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why?
Because of how we reacted of course. Again the emphasis is we have no control over the 10% of what happens in our life but the other 90% was determined by our reaction.
There are some ways to apply the 90/10 Principle.
Scenario 1:
If someone says something negative about us, do not be a sponge. Let the attack roll off like water on glass. We do not have to let the negative comments affect us. React properly and it will not ruin our day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a friend, being fired, or getting stressed out.
Scenario 2:
How do we react if someone cuts us off in the traffic? Do we lose our temper? Pound on the steering wheel? Do we curse? Do our blood pressure skyrocket? The answer my vougue-ers.... Who cares if they want to overtake us and make us arrive 10 seconds later at work? Why let the cars ruin our life? Let it be....
Scenario 3:
Put your worrying aside and always stay happy. For instance you are told you lost your job (wow this is serious!!!). Now why lose sleep and get irritated? InsyaAllah, with God's will, it will work out. And use the worrying energy and time to find a new job instead.
Scenario 4:
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule for the day. Why take our your frustration on the flight attendant? She has no control over what is going on. Use your time to study, get to know other passengers maybe. Why do you need to stress out? It will just make things worse.
_________________________________________________________________________________
So friends.... now you know the 90/10 Principle. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. You will lose nothing if you try it. The 90/10 Principle is incredible. You will see it by yourself!!!
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. Thus we must understand and apply the 90/10 Principle to change our life. No harm trying and probably we can enjoy it. It will only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experiences. Absolutely everything we do, give, say, or even think, it's like a Boomerang. It will come back to us.....
If we want to receive, we need to learn to give first.....,
Maybe we will end with our hands empty, but our heart will filled with love.....
And those who love life, have that feeling marked in their hearts.....
___________________________________________________________________________________
