Doesn't she adorable?

The 1st time I put gown on her & she looked really cute. More gowns for her after this :)

3wks 2 days

baby Syra is now 3wks & 2 days old & I'm still coping up with the new life. I am so grateful my study is almost over. Yup, it's not over yet as I've corrections to do. It is so difficult to find time to do it nowadays, aarghhh. I hope I could finish within this week as I hope to attend the graduation ceremony but given the condition at the moment, I don't really want to put a high hope. Let see how it goes BUT the most important thing, me & syawal wil hire the gown for photo session purposes, hehehehhe.

On top of that, my family has gone back to m'sia yesterday which means I have to do all the housechores by myself, from settling syra to cooking to doing laundry to everything *sigh*. What a tiring life ahead. Unlike b4, I didn't have to worry a single thing except managing syra. Even though syawal promises to do the cooking but as far as I can see.... naadaa, huhuhuhu. Today, I cooked my own porridge & fried anchovies & for syafique, 2day is the 1st day he didn't have rice for lunch. For the past >30 days, he never missed rice, huhuhuhu. Oooo.. we had buffet pizza at pizza hut for our lunch 2day. he made a drama yesterday & I promised him to take him there yesterday. What drama? let's just say.. he is jealous b'cos everyone is bz with syra. We had a 'mother & son' talk & I think he is much better now but me & syawal have to remind ourselves too, to care for his feeling too.

Anyway, I hope I could maintain my blood level to the optimum level, hehehheheh. It's just sometimes I hope syawal would do some of the housechore without me have to tell him what to do but go dreaming, Anom :(. Ooooh... another visitor a.k.a my FIL will arrive in about 2 wks time. I have no problem EXCEPT the cooking bit. hellllppppp!!!!

The 2nd experience....

Well, I had a quite 'unpleasant' experience when giving birth to syafique that caused me a trauma. As a result of that 'trauma', I scared of getting pregnant again. However, realizing that I am getting older & I want a big family, I put aside that feeling & ready for the next SA. This time, I prepared myself & ready for the pain. But... another thing came. This time, the baby decided not to leave my belly on the due date. Even worse, after 12 days overdue, there was no sign of contraction at all. As everybody knew, I had to go for induction. Well, this entry will be about my experience of induction labor, started from when I checked in to the PAH until I was discharged.

05/05/2009
7.20 am: Woke up with nervous feeling

7.30 am: When I was about to go to the toilet, suddenly I felt like I wee but I couldn't control it & it really wet the floor. I though my water broke but Ina said, it wasn't. I felt relieved b'cos it must be a sign that I was ready for labour.

8 am: I had 2 full plates of nasi lemak. Yummy3X. the last hot food b4 going into the confinement mode.

8.15am:Then went to the PAH with syawal.

8.45 am: Reach the labour ward, PAH. Checked in & got my own bed in the ward. I was attended by m/wife A. Gave my urine sample. remove my lower bits for internal exam. the m/w took my BP, temp and set up the machine to my belly to monitor the baby heart rate & also the contraction.


9.30 am: M/w A did the internal exam & put in the prostin tablet for the induction.

10.50 am: Took out the monitoring stuff & went out for walking. Went to the hospital shops to buy magazines + sudoku. Syawal ate lunch at the hosp's cafe.

12.00 pm: Went back to the ward & had lunch. Not bad... I had crispy crumb veg. grill + veg. soup + sauteed potatoes + peas + custard + fruit flavoured jelly.

12.30 - 7 pm: Just resting in the ward. Setup the machine again. Played sudoku. The contraction started but still very mild. M/w wanted to take me to the labour room but they were all full & I had to wait until there was a vacant room. M/w A shift was over & I was attended by another m/w B.

7.30 pm: I've been transfered to the labour room 4. The contraction getting stronger and stronger, huhuhuhu.

8 - 8.30 pm: They were ready to break my water. M/w B did the internal examination & I felt very uncomfortable. Unlike m/w A that I think is more xperience that m/wife B, I felt nothing when she did the internal exam. With m/w B I could feel the her finger(s) moving inside & I kept grunting & she finally gave up. Thank god. She then asked another sr m/w to do the procedure & she broke my water very fast & easy. I felt no pain/discomfort at all. Syawal saw when the water (he said the colour was pink, mixture of water & blood) splashed out & he actually almost black out. he acted smart by not looking at them for so long,..... if not????? You know what's gonna happen, hehehe. BTW, at this time the cervix just dilated about 1cm, huhuhu but the contraction getting stronger & stronger.

8.30 - 12.00 am: The contraction became more frequent & getting stronger. By 9pm, m/w B' shift was over & m/w C took over. Thank God. I felt so relieved b'cos i'll be attended by a sr m/w. During this period, I used the suggested breathing technique in reducing the pain & it really worked. So my advice, instead of screaming, try to breath in and out correctly & u'll see how they ease the pain effectively & I didn't need the gas. syawal was beside me all the time. While I was strugggling coping the pain, he was bz solving the sudoku games. by 11.45pm, I was +ve the baby would not come out at 5/5/09 as I was hoping, huhuhuh.

06/05/2009
12.15am: M/w C did the internal exam again & not much changes on the cervix opening, still about 1cm, huhuhu. Just imagine... how long must I wait for 10cm opening?? Since I had this same experience b4, I was much cooler in handling it. I then asked for epidural but she said the epidural can only be given when the opening is about 5-5cm but she suggested for another pain relief. But that option has an effect to the baby & syawal didn't really happy with that, so I didn't take it.

12.30 - 3.00am: The pain was unbearable during this preiod & the breathing technique wasn't helpful anymore. I took the gas most of the times & it made me fell into sleep/unconcious. But whenever the pain came back, I was awake again. At one time, I couldn't hold anymore & asked for the pain relief that I refused b4. After the m/w consulted the dr, she said it was too late for that & would give me drip & epidural instead. Thank God. Not long after that, a Dr came & put something on my forearm for the drip. I think this was the most crucial moment. The drip's effect had started working, I was really in pain & couldn't stop myself from screaming but luckily syawal was beside me all the time. He was the one who kept giving me the gas & told me not to scream. I was really grateful b'cos he really helped me a lot. How I wished he was beside me too when i gave birth to syafique 7 yrs ago. in the middle of pain, I had this bad thought... why I was willing to get pregnant again even though I know how painful the labour process is. Syawal did ask during this time, do I want to get pregnant again??? My answer that time was definitely NO, hikhikhik.

3.00 - 3.34am: I could feel I was sweating & I knew the time almost came from my exprience with syafique. On top of that, I could feel the baby's head like in my butt & I felt to push. I told syawal & he then told the m/w. The m/w opened the big spotlight to check (no more internal exam) & I was so relieved when she said, the baby was ready to come out. she prepared everything alone & she guided me step by step when to push/ breath to avoid a big tear. I could feel the baby's head & moments after that, she's already on my chest, crying & I was crying too. I couldn't believe it... after 12 days overdue, I finally could hug her, & kiss her. I think I cried for quite sometimes. I still remember that I didn't cry when giving birth to syafique.

3.35 - 6.30am: The m/w finished everything alone, from A to Z and then I was transfered to the Broadalands Ward.

8 am: Syawal went back home to take Syafique. I was just resting & luckily the little baby being a good girl. Syafique was very excited seeing his little sister for the 1st time & he kept kissing her, huhuhuhuh

2 pm: The m/w said I could go home. Yey..... Ina, abah & Aqi also came to visit me, just to see how the PAH look like.

The most important thing after this 2nd experience is I am not scared of getting pregnant again. But not that soon. In comparison between the 2 labour experiences, I think the 2nd one is less painful in terms of duration. The pain level is about the same except that this time I knew how to use the pain relief effectively.

Another experience..

I had a very long & painful labour experience when gave birth to syafique and seems like I'm going to have another 'memorable' experience with my second child, huhuhu. It's already 11 days past the due date & if it remains like this until tomorrow morning, I'll go for the induced labour *dup,dap,dup,dap*. I've been booked for induction on labour at PAH at 8.45am tomorrow.


How do I feel??? Most of the time I feel nervous. How if the the induction does not work well on me?? If it's working, the contraction will start and within 4 hrs, InsyaAllah u'll give birth. The level of pain is varies but there are cases when it doesn't give effect on ur body & they have to wait for 6 hrs before knowing that. then they'll give u a drip which be much more painful, *sigh*. At the moment, I can't do much except praying. I hope Allah s.w.t. will ease the process, InsyaAllah.


So tomorrow morning, Syawal & me will go to the PAH. We've decided syafique will not go to school 2morrow as we hope, when there is a sign that I'm about to deliver the baby syawal will pick him & my family to the hospital. Syafique keeps saying he wants to see the baby when she comes out. Me too, hope he'll be there beside me. he is been so dear to me these past few days.


Aaaahhhh, I really hope everything goes well tomorrow. Thinking about it really make me sick. I tried not to think about my final exam but it's so difficult not to do it. I just read through my notes/preparation & the rest of it, I'll leave to Allah s.w.t. Since Fri I went out, just to take fresh air & relax my mind by doing window shopping. It really does help me in make me calm. Besides, my family needs to go out too as I don't think they've much time to go anywhere after I give birth. Ina said I shouldn't go out a lot after giving birth. I need to rest as much as possible at least during the confinement period. But I need to take them to London b4 they going back home in 3 wks time.


Anyway, syawal is about to do something big very soon. It's not happening just YET but after he received call this morning, the chances of not happening is very low. Typical syawal...very unpredictable. It took him just cple of days in making the decision, huh. The moment I saw him browsing something, I knew he is up to something & what is it??? Not gonna write it here but hmmmm, knowing syawal I am not shock/surprise at all. I just tell myself to accept it. I did make loads of arguments/critics of his plan & as expected, he always has answers on everything. He did know that I am not really happy though with the decision but I leave everything in his hand. I know he know what he is doing. Besides, syawal is a high risk taker compared with me who is afraid to do something that I consider BIG step. Well, another reason why I don't really want to think about it is b'cos I have other more important things that already gave headache. To syawal... gud luck with ur decision, hehehhehe and for me I've to re-think/re-calculate abour our future budget planning, huhuhuhu

I think it'll take sometimes for the next entry in this blog. Hope it'll be good news, InsyaAllah. Please pray for me too...

41 weeks

Yup.... it's already my 41 wks pregnnat & still no sign of labour, huhuhuhu. However, I am less worry now b'cos I've been booked for induce next Tues,05/05. They said induced labour is much more painful, not comfortable,etc,etc,etc & I've decided to take epidural. Moreover, the midwife also strongly suggested me to take it. But who knows, maybe my little SA decides to come our naturally. For me it doens't matter anymore... induce or natural, as long as the baby is OK.

yesterday was my last meeting with my midwife. After this I'll go to the PAH to give birth....naturally or induced, huhuhu. One interesting (or embarassing??) thing happened during the meeting, hehehehhe. Earlier, b4 the meeting, I did some reading on induced labour. Just to prepare myself what is it about, the options, etc,etc. So, I wasn't that blank when she explained to me about the induced labour pss & made our discussion easier.

One of the thing that we tried during that meeting was membrane sweep. It is actually a process to simulate labour. basically, the midwife will try to pull ur cervix down. By this, I mean the m/wife needs to put her hand inside my vag**a, huhuhuhu. I was really shy (& scared too) but it was done in a very professional way. She just told me to remove all my lower bits stuff and asked syawal if he wants to see it. Of course syawal declined, heheheh, & just stayed behind the curtain. Back to the procedure, she guided me on my position which I found very convenient & then, it was the time for the most crucial part.... I was really nervous & scared when I saw her hand with glove & I could see the lubricant on it. However, surpirsingly it happened smoothly & I felt no pain or uncomfortable feeling at all. I noticed that she never looked at my part when she was doing it & that made me less embarass & more relax. The only time I felt uncomfortable was when she tried to find/reach my cervix. Along the process, she kept asking if I felt OK, any pain or whatsoever & honestly, I felt OK, eventhough I could feel her hand (or fingers) moving inside me. She even said I have a very high threshold pain & I kinda agree with her, in comparison with syawal, hehehhehe. Anyway, she couldn't reach my cervix. Maybe it's too deep inside but I hope it helps in someways.




We did all the regular check up like monitor the baby heart rate & measure the baby's size. She noticed a static growth of the size & the baby's heart rate was faster (>160bpm), so she suggested me to go to PAH for further check up later that afternoon. She thought nothing to be worried but just as a pecaution. So after picking syafique up from school & took him back home, me & syawal off to the PAH. Well, this is another new experience for me. Well, it was just a simple procedure, To look at the baby heart rate & as expected nothing to be worried. managed to take some pictures when we were there.

One of the things that I've been thinking is I hope syafique could be with us (me & syawal) when I am in labour. yesterday, when I told him I need to go to the hospital, he thought the baby is coming & he wanted to come with me. I could see in his eyes that he really wanted to be there & I felt so touched. I forgot to ask the midwife how many ppl are permitted to be in the labour room, hmmm. Also, I think if I go for the induce, I don't think they'll permit kid in there as it's gonna a long process. Well, I did make a plan with syawal though on how syafique could be there on that day. hust hope it works as planned.

To syawal... thanks for being there with me. He's been very loving, caring for the past few weeks. I think he realizes how nervous am I when the baby still not coming out yet. At least by pampering me, it could make me relax. So, whenever I ask for anything, he'll just follow. Anyway, I did tell him there's one natural method for inducing labour that need his involvement *wink3x* BUT he is scared, hahahahah even though I told him, again and again, the baby won't know & don't even feel it. muahahahhahahahah. So, I guess we have to give that method a pass, huhuhuhu. The other good news about syawal, finally, his SV has returned his last 2 chapters of his thesis, Alhamdulillah. Now, he needs to compile the complete thesis & submit them again to his SV for final checking. I hope there'll be not much correction & he could submit the final thesis to the school soon. Then just wait for the viva date.

Got to stop now. Please pray for me too....

Not yet....

Yup...little SA still in my belly. Tomorrow is the due date & will it happening???I guess we just have to wait and see. But... syafique is already super excited about the baby. Every morning when I take him to the toilet, that is the first thing that we talked about. His line is always..."I can't believe the baby is coming soon". I wonder how he will react if it's not happen tomorrow,hikhikhikhik.

As for me, I was really hoping the baby would come out earlier but since it is not happening, so I decide to keep myself bz with my study. In fact, I am in the library now. Try to do some reading. I realize that I've not much time to prepare/study for my final exam after giving birth. There's one last important thing I need to prepare, the thesis summary, huhuhuhu. It's just that I still don't have a mood to look back at my thesis. Must start doing it NOW!!!!. Besides I have appointment with the midwife later. At least by coming here, I managed to do something & at the same time watching my malay drama series that I follow. It seems like I couldn't find time to watch them when I am at home. I couldn't even watched some of my fav TV programmes, like DSM, huhuhu. I think I've missed DSM for 3wks already & there's not catch up for the series in E4 *sigh*. I guess I have to ask syawal to dowload it for me. Now it's S2 of DSM and a fren told me that the production decides to stop it, which means no more S3 ....:(.

On the other thing, my family is doing fine. Ina likes it here, as well as Aqi. But I am not really sure about Abah as he has nothing to do here. He spends most of his time either watching TV or in front of the computer. I told him to take a walk around the neighbourhood but I guess he is not keen to especially alone, as Ina prefers to just stay at home. And also, Ina takes over the kitchen 100%, yay and I think I eat a lot during every meal. This is the only chance for me to eat everything before my confinement begin. So far Ina has cooked all my fav. They also already get used to my 'clean freak' so they tried to make less mess hikhikhik. The only thing that make me angry sometimes is abah always forget to close the front door. He smokes (a lot) & he knows that he couldn't smoke in the house. So he needs to go outside whenever he wants to smoke. So, I have to dble check the door everytime he gets in back, huhuhu. The funny thing is, this morning syafique asked me why 'uang pempeh' keeps coming in and out. When I told him that 'uang pempeh' needs to smoke, he added..."oooo... he smokes a lot". Abah & everyone else heard our conversation & what else could we say except smile. Hikhikhik. In other cases, when we watched the pics taken. In one of the pix, Ina was't smiling & he said, she looks upset & at Abah's picture, his comment was "He looks full". I think b'cos my abah is quite fat, huhuhuh. Anyway, kids are always honest when saying something.

get to stop now...bye2

@38 weeks

38 weeks pregnant

Your due date is right around the corner and your baby's just waiting for the right time to be born. She's continuing to build a layer of fat, which will help her to control her body's temperature after birth and will put on more weight (boys tend to be slightly heavier than girls). Take it easy during the final week or so — this may be your last opportunity to relax. Instead of spending every available minute decorating the nursery or folding baby clothes, go out and see a film, read a book or take long naps. Don't forget to spend some quality time with your partner too — it will probably be your last chance to have an evening out together for a while.

**The picture of me during 37 wks + 6 days pregnant**

About another 2 wks to go, InsyaAllah. Ooooh my dear SA, don't you want to come out early darling :)??. I can't wait to cuddle you in my arm for the 1st time. That will be the sweetest moment for any mums in the world.

I am much less nervous now but once in a while, I had dreams on the baby but none of the labour pain, the thing that I scared the most. I still remember my experience of giving birth to syafique & I was really terrified. Just imagine I spent 7hrs in labour and not forgetting the sleepness night b4 that. I was really in terrible pain but Alhamdulillah, I've no difficulties during pregnancy, as well as took care of syafique when he was still a baby. I hope it'll be the same this time, InsyaAllah :)

The preparation is complete now (I think). the hospital bags are ready to be picked up whenever the time arrives. It's just my condition..sometimes OK, sometimes feel tired, got heartburn once in a while. Other than that, I am doing just fine. I am glad I managed to finish my preparation for the viva. What I need to do next is to study,study, practise, practise...... I hope everything goes smooth. Sometimes I feel ready but most of the times..... I am really nervous + scared. My appetite is great too. I could finish a full plate of rice easily now :). Also, my sweet tooth become sweeter & suddenly choc becomes my fav.

BTW, Syafique followed me during my recent antenatal check-up. He was really excited when the Dr examined me. What more, now he knows when the baby's due date 23/4. I never told him on the date b'cos I thought it wasn't important. Now, he keep asking about the data. How sweet of him. Luv u sayang :)

Need to stop now.... bubbye :)

@ 36 wks

This means the arrival of my little SA is just around the corner & I think I am ready now. I feel less scared compared to few days ago. Can't wait, can't wait... can't wait. The preparation almost 99% complete. I just need to set our tiny little bedroom into a 'so-called' nursery. The hospital bags for both of us are also ready. So, anything the sign shows we can fly to PAH. I just hope Syawal is around when the time comes.

I met the midwife yesterday, & Alhamdulillah, everything looks good. So far there's no complication in my pregnancy even though she said that my belly is not that huge. Thank God for that. My weight during my early pregnancy was 52kg & now, it's just 54kg which is good for me I think, ehhehehe. There was a sign of protein in my urine though. However the test showed normal rslt so nothing to be worried of, InsyaAllah. She also briefed us the delivery process. What we should know, what to bring, when to go to hospital, etc,etc. The only thing that make me & syawal worry is when is the right time to go to the hospital. Of course we don't want to give birth at home as I know how 'panic' it's gonna be. Syawal already told me he might not be with me inside the labour room. He prefers to stay outside. Of course I wish he could be with me all the time but knowing his experience with hospital, I am OK with that.

My dear little SA moves actively & really love to watch her tumbling around inside my belly. I think she kicks even stronger lately & can respond to our touch too. Like this afternoon, syawal was playing with her & it was really fun to see that. Anyway, I think Syawal interact more with little SA compared to when I was carrying Syafique. And I was like him too. I couldn't even remember did I play with syafique when he was still inside me. The only thing from my 1st pregnancy that still clear in my mind is the labour pain, eeeuughh, unbearable!!!!

BTW, Syawal's b'day is next week & who knows if little SA decides to share the same b'day with her Abah. I think it would be the best b'day present for him. Talking about present, I think there'll be no present from me(& syafique) this yr as I don't have to time to find him one BUT I already have plan in my mind on the celebration. A modest celebration, just the three of us :)

Little update

My SIL & her hubby arrived yesterday for a short holiday here. I will be very bz for the next few days & we basically already have plan until this weekend. However, I need to find times to prepare for my 2 BIG days. Why 2 days?? One is for the arrival of the little missy (scared!!), and the other one is for my final viva (double scared!!!!). I've started remembering the experience of giving birth to syafique and that really make me terrified. The never ending pain...uuuuuuuu, scared,scared, scared.

And about the viva... I've discussed with pa*l about the preparation and there are few things that I need to do. Of course I need to discuss with him again about it. I plan to meet him again b4 my family arrive in the middle of April & also b4 I give birth. i don't think I'll have much time to discuss him thoroughly after the delivery, unless if the baby comes out ealier. I've also told him my prefered date of the viva & I really hope the baby will come out on the due date or maybe earlier.

Anyway.. there's one thing that I want to share here that really meant a lot to me. What is it?? It is the power or prayer or do'a. B4 my SIL arrive, I was very worried of our financial condition b'cos our allowance was a bit late this month. We have bills to pay, visitors to come,etc,etc. Pls remember we just came back from Austria & we used our own money for everything for the trip b4 I could claimed the money back. So basically, we didn't really have much money left after the trip. There's nothing much we could do except waiting & the only option we have is to use the credit card, hmmmph. Honestly, I never prayed to Allah s.w.t anything related to money. I pray almost for everything; for my study, syawal's study, my kid(s), family, etc,etc but never on money. End of last week, suddenly it came to mind to pray from Allah s.w.t to help us about our money problem since I couldn't see any way out. I didn't really pray for him to give us money, but just to ease us when my SIL is here. Everytime after solat, I kept praying for this & I believe something good will happen, sooner or later. And Alhamdulillah... when the new week commenced, things started to change. It was started last Mon when I received my 1st claim from the school. Even though no that much, but it shows something, isn't it? Then yesterday, after picking up my SIL & hubby from Stansted airport, syawal asked me about some money that just been credited to his acc. From the amount, I knew that was one of the claims I sent to mohe. I was +ve I would get my other claim & yup, when I checked my acc this morning, the money is there. And today, syawal told me the allowance is already been credited to the account. Double Alhamdulillah. Of course, the 1st thing that we did was to settle all the bills & debts. Also.. last but not least, my SIL gave some cash to syawal, said that it was from my FIL. yes, my FIL is a very2 generous person. I feel so grateful to Allah s.w.t b'cos my prayers had been answered. I asked for a little but He gave us more. I don't really know how to conclude my story here, but my point is please remember Him in whatever situation you're in, happy, stuck, upset, etc,etc. Believe me, I've been in countless difficult situations while doing PhD and He is the one I will turn to & I feel so grateful with all His belssings.

I think my 'little update' is not little anymore :). The truth, I easily got carried away when I write about my feeling. I know what I wrote here don't really express my true feeling b'cos it's really difficult to write them, especially in English, huhuhu. Got to stop now. Another bz day tomorrow *wink*.

Another 6 wks...

It's already 34 weeks, another 6 wks to go InsyaAllah. Eventhough deep in my heart I hope it'll be sooner, but not that soon, hehehheheheh as I want to have my mom's cook first. InsyaAllah, my parents & youngest bro will be arriving on the 2nd week of April. I already have my long list of what-I-want-to-eat. Hmmm, yummy2x.

As for my bump, it grows bigger rapidly for the couple of weeks ago. My growing bump cannot be hide anymore. Also, I getting more uncomfortable these days, especially at nights. My bump is tightening and that make me just lie down on the sofa most of the times. However, no matter how uncomfortable am I, I always need to munch, munch and munch *sigh*. The only time that I feel really relax is when waking up very morning. I feel so free, relax, cool, etc,etc & almost feel like I am not pregnnat. Sometimes, I have to feel my bump to ensure that I am still pregnant, hikhikhik. The feeling's is then gone after I have my 1st meal of the day, then the cranky pregnant lady is back. Not forgetting I've became a very sensitive, sensitive to everything. So, I think the less I communicate with ppl, the better it will be. At least for now, only syawal got the heat, who else right?

As for the preparation, I think I've got almost everything done except few small things like nappies, baby toiletries,etc,etc. Will do that later.. Also need to pack for my & her hospital bags but will do it with syafique. I read it somewhere that by doing this together, he'll be more prepared with the arrival of a new member to the family. Actually, me & syawal were shocked when he said we'll not love him anymore when the baby comes out. I really don't know where he gets that thought. So, we think it's very important to prepare him mentally.

Let's see, what I've prepared so far. For my little missy....

Not just the little missy to be prepared but me too, especially on how to get my figure back after giving birth, hikhikhikhik. But this is not complete yet :)

Got to go... need to pick up syafique from skool.

,

sleepy.... & little updates

aaarrggggghhh....I am so sleepy at the moment & it's not even 6pm yet!!! And, I don't want to drink coffee b'cos I'll have problem to sleep later on but I don't want to sleep yet, got some works to do.... I know this must be b'cos of the 2 pcs roti canai that I ate just now. I ate 2 pcs of them too yesterday evening that made went to bed early last night & not gonna repeat that again tonight.

Hmmmm..... I am so exhausted these few days but I do feel happy. Why??.. because made some progress on my thesis writing even though not much. Well, we can't really force ourselves to do work related stuff. If you do, the chances of you getting migraine is higher. Besides, I think this all related to our motivation. It happens naturally, if u're up to something than u'll be motivated to do it. Of course this is from my point of view. Different ppl have diff opinions.

Anyway, I met pa*l yesterday. Since few wks ago, I actually was very scared of my PhD. I think not scared but WORRY, is the best word to describe what I felt. Eventhough pa*l said my work is OK & I can proceed with my final thesis writing but deep in my heart I am so worried. My worry is how if the examiner question my method. How if the examiner my work is crap, rubbish, etc,etc,etc..... This has to do with how I want to defend my work. Well, in the yesterday meeting, I spilled out what I felt & he always know how to make me feel better. I guess he is right b'cos he has enough experience in this field. As usual... I will always follow/listen to his advice w/out hesitant. Besides, when I talk to other frens, they also worry the same thing like me. What can I do is pray for the best. InsyaAllah everything will be OK & I hope I manage to complete everything on schedule.

Today, my fren told me about his problem in his study & I feel so pity of him. Comparing him with me, I think he's been through lots of bumps more than me, since he started his PhD. From 9 mnths, labs, transfer & now, he has to do more lab works. We both thought that what he has done so far is enough for his PhD & he just knew about it yesterday. I know he is very2 upset but as usual, he always hide them behind his smile. He is someone with a very kind heart and the god is testing him again. What I could tell him, just to be positive. Maybe it won't turn that bad when he starts doing it. Besides there's nothing much he could do except follow what his sv said. I also told him that when u've been tested again and again by the god, that means the god loves you & you should proud of that. Even though he is not a Muslim, he knows about this :).

Little update on my Little missy.. she moves/kicks a lo nowadays. Now, I can see clearly my belly moves when she moves inside. What a very lovely experience. I wish syawal & syafique could see that too. My little missy is quite shy to show herself in action, I think. My belly is growing bigger & my appetite is not too bad. So far, I haven't experienced nauseaness like few wks ago which is good for me. Oooooo, I went to see the midwife yesterday. She detected sign of protein and blood in my urine sample. I hope it's not that bad but she has to send it for further analysis. I think, I did experience the same thing when I was carrying syafique, but nothing serious that time. Hope the same thing this time. I also aske her if I can have sushi during pregnancy & her answer was..... best avoiding it, huhuhuhu. Syawal has asked to go for a sushi buffet dinner in city centre for so long. So I guess we have to wait until the baby comes out, if syawal can hold his desire which I think is impossible. Maybe he can go with his fren, but with me???? totaly out of the picture.

Well... I am not sleepy anymore & feel much2 better now. Ready to do some drawings & watch TV. Till then.....bye2

Camwhoring

Hmmm... as I wrote in my previous2 entry, my new hobby is to take a picture of my growing belly.Pictures taken at my 23 wks of pregnancy. Can barely hide it now. Luckily, I managed to do some alteration during Christmas day on my not so recently bought maternity wear as I will use them more after this :).

p/s 1: Thanks to syawal for being so sporting with my new hobby :)

p/s 2: Pictures taken using the big camera & my C905. U can easily spot the difference ofthe pix quality, rite??? However... I still love my new camera phone.

Baby check list

Hmmm... so many things to buy for the little missy. This checklist is for me to refer whenever I need to. I've started shopping some of the things but not on the spacious stuff yet. It's just that I've to clear some spaces at home before I could buy the bigger stuff.

1. Hospital bag for me (must be ready at around my 36 wks)
- The bag
- My pregnancy notes
- Comfortable t-shirt or front fastening nightdress for labour
- Socks and slippers
- Towel
- Maternity pads and disposable briefs
- Outfit to travel home (maternity clothes will be perfect)
- Comfortable shoes and socks
- Jacket or cardigan
- Toiletries and make-up
- nursing bras

2. Hospital bag for little missy (must be ready at around my 36 wks)
- Changing bag - CHECKED
- 6 x bodysuits - CHECKED
- 6 x all in ones - HALF CHECKED
- 2 x cardigans
- 2 x pairs of scratch mitts - CHECKED
- 2 x hats - HALF CHECKED
- 4 x bibs - HALF CHECKED
- 1 x blanket
- 1 x Jacket or pramsuit (outwear)
- 1 x pack of newborn nappies ,nappy bags, small pot of nappy cream
- Hooded towel - CHECKED
- baby wipes
- Baby wash and shampoo
- Outfit to travel home - CHECKED

3. Others
- Moses basket & stand OR baby cot
- Travel system : Push chair & car seat - CHECKED (will be collected after 25/03
- Baby carrier
- Baby monitor
- Changing table - CHECKED
- Electric breast pump
- Bath set - HALF CHECKED

Another 4 months to go....

Maternity catch....

Gosh, sometimes I think I am so addicted to this online shopping thingy, especially ebay. Luckily, I am better now in bidding, hehhehe & I always make sure I am not paying too much for the items. I always have my limit price.

About my maternity wear, I think I have about enough collection now. I started buying them the moment I knew I am pregnant. The best place to shop is boot sales & most of items are still in good/superb condition. Since now is winter & can't really go to boot sales every week, so I've opted to ebay for my maternity clothes shopping.

Ooooooo.... I lurve shopping!!!. The baby in my belly is sooooooooooooo a girl :)

Happy hour

I just bought this lovely top from ebay & really like it. I tried it on & suddenly got the idea to pose in it. Then, my craziness came & took more pictures of my growing belly. I think this is my new hobby.....taking pictures of my bump. All pictures taken by myself except for the 1st one. Forced syawal to take it.

** More pictures of my belly are coming soon.... I think :)

Little Master or Little Missy??

Well....InsyaAllah it will be a little missy *BigGrin*. When I asked the sonographer about the genital, she was so confident when she told us about it. Now I can start shopping for my little missy. But before that, I need to buy maternity clothes for myself first. Seems like I need to start wearing them anytime soon :)

*** Update on 11/12/08: We had another ultrasound a week after the last one. We asked about the genital again & we got the same answer :). The ultrasound was carried out by a different sonographer

The moody pregnant lady

I know it's normal for pregnant ladies experiencing mood swings but little that I expect I'll experience it too. Yesterday was the worst mood swing I experienced so far.

It wasn't due to my study but the visa thingy. We met the officer yesterday to submit our application. We couldn't submit the application yet because of this last single evidence. What evidence?? The latest 3 mnths bank statements. I found the 2 mnths but couldn't found the Sept statement. It was really killing me, trying to find where the hell this statement gone. At first, I thought I could print out the statement from the online banking & get the bank to stamp on it. But... it's bank policy & couldn't stamp on it. Aaarrrghh. So, we had to request for the bank statement & wait until it arrives. Until that.. we couldn't submit our application. What make me really tense is I kept seeing that missing statement. I've searched everywhere again & again, but still couldn't find it. On top of that, the home office just implemented a new rule that could prolong the process *huh*.

I don't know what happened to me yesterday, but I was really depressed when I went home at the evening. I couldn't do & think about anything else except that bank statement & our application. I felt like to shout/angry to everyone (read: syawal & syafique) but I forced myself to cool down. Luckily managed to do it at least a little b'cos syawal was sleeping but syafique couldn't escaped from my mood swing. Sorry syafique... But I think he understands because few days earlier I told him that since pregnant, I can get angry easily.

In that moody situation, I still managed to cook for dinner. But... during that, I cried my heart out most of the time. If syawal didn't sleep, he could hear me crying in the kitchen b'cos I didn't control myself at all. I blamed myself for not able to think fast enough about the bank statement. If I think faster, this request thingy can be done even faster & we could submit the application. The truth... I worried too much. I let the situation defeat me.

the good thing was... I managed to finish my cooking & felt much better after that. When syawal woke up, I felt less moody & could tell him my depress feeling without getting angry,*phooh*. I even could talked heart to heart with him about my situation. I just hope syawal (& syafique too) will be this understanding at least until the baby comes out. One bad thing about me is when I am angry, I could be very inconsiderate. The least I want now is have a fight with syawal. Hope syawal will be patient, InsyaAllah.

I guess this mood swing is really normal for a pregnant lady *sigh*. Like in this incident, I shouldn't be worry too much about it. I could just go with the flow as the visa will be expired in 2 mnths time & we still have ample time to plan for the Austria trip.

Boy or girl.......Part2

As usual, I found so many interesting things during my bloghopping xtvy. But, can't really remember where I got this. Below is the Chinese gender chart. Basically you can predict the gender of ur baby from the chart. The 1st left column is ur age during conception & the 1st top row is the month of conception

According to the chart, it'll be a baby girl. True or not?Have to wait until this Friday to find out the baby's sex :). Hope we'll see something.

Boy or Girl....... Part1

A week from today will be my appointment for the 2nd ultrasound scan. Hope I could see the baby's sex that time. I don't really mind either it's a boy or girl but I am hoping for a girl. Well, either a boy or a girl, there'll definitely a 3rd, 4th and maybe 5th SA in the future.

Found this from here ...

It's a boy if:
You didn't experience morning sickness in early pregnancy - I did experience morning sickness
Your baby's heart rate is less than 140 beats per minute - nope, it's > 140bpm
You are carrying the extra weight out front - still early to judge
Your belly looks like a basketball - don't know yet
Your areolas have darkened considerably - not really
You are carrying low - Don't understand this
You are craving salty or sour foods - I always like sour food, pregnant ot not pregnant
You are craving protein -- meats and cheese - not really
Your feet are colder than they were before pregnancy - hmmmm??? Not sure
The hair on your legs has grown faster during pregnancy - I never shaved my leg's hair
Your hands are very dry - Not really
Your pillow faces north when you sleep - ??????
Dad-to-be is gaining weight, right along with you - Syawal's weight is maintained so far
Pregnancy has you looking better than ever - Not really
Your urine is bright yellow in color - I think no
Your nose is spreading - Dunno
You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves in circles - Too lazy to try. Besides, I don't know where is my wedding ring. I know it is somewhere in my drawer.
You are having headaches - Not a bad one & not all the times
You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an even number: 32 (my age) + 7 (month conceived) = 39 (ODD)

It's a girl if:
You had morning sickness early in pregnancy - In comparison with my 1st pregnancy, yup this time is worse.
Your baby's heart rate is at least 140 beats per minute - according to m pregnancy notes, 150 - 160 bpm
You are carrying the weight in your hips and rear - Not sure
Your left breast is larger than your right breast - he said the right is bigger *wink*
Your hair develops red highlights - Not sure
You are carrying high - don't understand this one
Your belly looks like a watermelon - Still early to judge
You are craving sweets - Not really but I always have sweets with me, instead of sour food
You are craving fruit - Yup. Stock of fruits is a must these days.
You crave orange juice - nope
You don't look quite as good as normal during pregnancy - I look not good all the time unless I put on some make up, hikhikhik
You are moodier than usual during pregnancy - YES!!!
Your face breaks out more than usual - maybe
You refuse to eat the heel of a loaf of bread - never eat the heel...hhehheheheh
Your breasts have really blossomed! - Dunno
Your pillow faces south when you sleep - How could I know this???
Your urine is a dull yellow color - I think yes...
You hang your wedding ring over your belly and it moves from side to side - refer to my answer above
You add your age at the time of conception and the number for the month you conceived and the sum is an odd number = 32(my age) + 7 (month conceived) = 39 (ODD)

***************************************************************************
Boy or girl??? We'll wait & see!!!

Tired + writing + ........

I had a lab this morning & after it was over, I was & still tired. I just sit on my chair, looked at my notebook screen blankly. Don't know what to do. Even sudoku became boring, what with all the blogs that I read. Everything became boring as I am very tired.

Luckily, it wasn't for that long. Force myself to start doing soemthing. I've set up my mind just to do some writing today. If not, I don't know if I have the energy to think about my analysis. By the end of day managed to finish what I planned to do & now I want to enjoy my weekend. Time off from my PhD thingy. Plus, I foresee that I might have a full weekend.

Well, part of this tiredness is maybe due to my pregnancy. I easily get tired. Not just that... I become more sensitive & get tempered easily especially when with syawal. I have to calm down myself, told my innerside that this is just hormone swing & I need to be patient. To make matter worse, I got my nauseaness back, especially when brushing teeth.

On a happier note, I could feel the baby is kicking/ moving once in a while. It feels so good...... The truth is I barely could remember anything from my 1st pregnancy. It's like this is my first experience that make me always excited. The only thing that I remember from my previous pregnancy was the first time I saw my bump moving caused by the baby, me & syawal were not talking to each other. We were both watching TV and I was too arrogant to share the happiness with him. Deep in my heart I really wanted to share it with him. This time, can't wait to show it to syafique because I know he will love it. We talk about the baby all the time & I can see he is excited. Syawal???? He never showed his feeling but I know he is excited too.

***Gosh.... it's already end of Nov. Panic..panic... but actually not too panic :)