Excessive stress

I felt so stress lately & I don't like it all. Who like, right? Anyway... why I am so stress??? My answer; work stuff, what else. But seriously, everything is so stressful. However, I always try to control myself. Not to think about it. Hmm, sometimes it work but most of the times... nope.

I actually am very sleepy now & can't really think clearly. My eye lids keep closing & yes.. I am forcing myself to stay awake. While typing this, I'm watching Grey' Anatomy as well. I put the window side by side.. so typing and watching. Yeah... I multitask all the time.

Tomorrow is going to be a bz day. My old school frens are coming. Of course I feel nervous but luckily, it is a potluck gathering. So, I decided to cook nasi tomato & orderes cple of other foods. But I am very excited to meet them again. I used to have a crush on one of them but I definitely positive I have no feeling towards him anymore. nadaa. Mr. S shouldn't be worried, hheehhee. I invited my adik/ x-BF buthe couldn;t make it. I wish he could come b'cos me myself cannot imagine how will I face him.

ANW, back to the title of this entry. Mr. S told me about his colleague having bleeding in his brain. Few days ago he was critical but he's getting better. They later found out that the reason was excessive stress. he was a prof & he was giving a talk when it happened. His mic suddenly dropped which he didn't realized it. Somebody gave him the mic back & he dropped it again. then, his condition became worse & later sent to the hospital.. His story really make me scared b'cos that is waht I feel now. I think I should slow myself down with the work stuff. But... hmm, I don't know :(. I tried not to think about other people too, their achievement and everything make me really down sometimes. Hurmmm, I think this is what we call as patrparanoia.

I need to sign off now. Dear God... please help me,please help your helpless humble servant. Please make me grateful with what I already have, please, please,please...

9 Ramadhan

dah 9 Ramadhan ker? aku congak2 je ni sebenarnya tp rasanya dah betul. Ramadhan pertama di bukit mahkota...

ANW, Ramadhan ni mmg bulan yg aku paling tunggu setiap tahun. Ni bukan nak menunjuk2 tp ikhlas aku cakap. Bila Ramadhan makin dekat, mmg rasa excited sgt. bukan excited nk pg PARAM tp sbb masa ramadhan ni aku rasa mcm aku baik sket. dlm bulan niah slalunya aku khatam quran. kiranya setiap thn islam, aku mesti khatam quran. khatam bulan pose, lps raya mula baca balik. slalunya at a very slow pace & bila dh smpai the next ramadhan, aku kt juz awal2 lagi. tapi masuk ramdhan je, amazingly aku boleh ngaji lama2 & banyak kali plak dlm satu hari. Tu yg aku suka. ANW, baru ari ke-9 aku dh nk masuk juzuk 13. Aku pulun baca ni bukannya apa. yalah, x lama dh nak bejot. bila bejot terang2 tak leh ngaji.apa2 pun aku harap allah s.w.t permudahkan lah utk aku, IsyaAllah.

psl terawih plak... mmg aku jarang pg terawih. main reason sbb ada budak kecik a.k.a Master and Miss S. so, tahun ni aku ingat mesti kurang terawih lagi. surprisingly, steakat ke hari ni, aku rasa baru 3 kali & for me, that is very impressive. aku buat sendiri je kt umah. syawal pun tahun ni rajin pergi terawih. Miss S plak sejak bulan pose mmg tidur awal. so, dapatlah aku berterawih... & skrg, berblogging, hehhehhe.

Ngantuk sebenarnya ni tapi hati aku mencanak2 nk tulisomething dlm blog ni yg aku sendiri pun dh lama x bukak. mata tak leh nk bukak dah ni. nak titonnnn. bye

What have I done???

after my recent dept meeting, I felt so stressed out. but I think I am not gonna write every bits & pieces here. ANW, it's about annual performance indicator and and it's not really good, at least for me. Being involved in 3 big events this year make me difficult to concentrate to my PI. Plus with problematic me, who keep proscratinating everything, make me stress even more. So, I decided to w/draw as a committee. Besides, I am not really happy with the coordination. I hoenstly think it's poorly organized and the chair doesn't seem wants to hear the members' opinion. For that, I am saying goodbye before it's too late.

There are lots of reason that contribute to my decision and I really gave a deep thought about it. I even discussed it with MyD and he totally understand. I think he agreed me b'cos he can see how I work really hard for all the events. even my colleague, when I told her about how I feel, she strongly suggested to me to quit. the other 2 events are OK with me but this 1 event, I foresee that if I continue I will be crazy. crazy with workloads!!!! And I definitely sure my PI stuff will be long forgotten, huhuhu. I've sent email to the chairmain, telling him my decision & he already replied saying OK. but deep inside, I still feel unsettled. I don't really know why.

I should feel happy, shouldn't I?

This feeling most probably b'cos on the same day I sent email to the chair, my other teammate called me & told me what should we do. At that time, I didn't have the guts to tell him about my withdrawal. besides, I haven't heard anything back from the chair, not until today. Part of me feel guilty. However to counter that feeling, I kept reminding myself about how in another event last year, everything was given & I had to do EVERY single thing on my own. It's not like I was the only committee for that job, but they they dumped everything on me. & no one ever came to me to ask if I need any extra hand or whatever. Once in a while, I felt I was being used, huhuhu.

ANW, I don't want to go back there anymore. The most important thing... I already did what I should do. It's for my own good. Besides, I have seen ppl that their names appear as the committee but they didn't even bother to come to meetings & of course far away from doing any works. They just want their names on for the sake of PI. At least what I did this is more honorable, didn't I?

time to sleep... bye2

Giler penatt

Hmm.. as usual mesti tak tau nk mula camner. yg pasti aku nk citer ari ni aku penat giler. bayangkan... smpi tghari tu aku dh rasa exhausted abis. masa tu aku tgh meeting ngan my opismate. serious aku dh x boleh concentrate langsung. lgpun bila dgr dia cakap, I need to add this, I need to change that, etc,etc,etc. Luckily, bila dh abis discussion tu I am clear on what to do. Cuma.. aku tak leh nk buat terus sbb dh penat sgt. Before discussion tu, discuss another diff matter with same colleague juga + few others. Itu pun dh mula rasa berat dh kepala. Earlier that morning, mmg dh pening light2 ngan internal problem of the conf I've been involved in. Klu itu, lagi membebankan kepala. i wish I could w/draw from that committee. macam tak ada kekuatan je rasa nk cakap :(.

yg buatkan aku bertambah2 penat & risau.... aku tak mula2 lagi tulis paper aku yg dh long overdue, huhuhuhu*sakit jantung* aku dibuatnya. ANW, nk citer sket yg thn ni aku involve in 3 conf & ketiga2 jadi committee yg blh tahan banyak kejenya. yg 2 conf tu oklah. busy2 pun, I enjoy my work. working with wonderful colleagues & work demand tu yg jadikan akus eronok & no regret at all. satu lagi conf ni mmg aku malas. reason..b'cos org yg paling atas tu x pndi nk deliver tugas. tau nk men'condemn ajer. semua salah. Masalahnya bukan aku sorang yg rasa mcm tu. everyone else in the committee pun x happy. ANY, for next year, I promise myself not to involve into so many events. satu cukuplah kot...

back to my tiring day ari...sbb dh penat sgt. I decided not to push myself anymore. aku balik cepat. lgpun nk pick up MyD from school at 3.40. I did tell MyD about how I am so stress with my workloads today. Dia siap tanya knp pick up dia early if I'm very bz. My answer.. I need to stop from looking at my work for a while. Aku siap ajak dia pg singgah mkn laksa lagi, just b'cos klu aku trus balik umah, confirm trus smbg kejer. So, me & him had our sweet time eating laksa, yg boleh masuk kategori sedap. yg lawaknya, seblm makan tu aku tau dlm my purse cuma ada RM7 notes & coins tak tau braper. aku plan just nk order satu laksa & satu cendol. myD slalunya tak nak makan. tp ..tiba2 dia nk one bowl for him. Aku ngan confidentnya order jelah. lps dia makan, dia nk air sirap plak.. dlm hati aku, cukup duit ni. bila I called for bill....*jeng*jeng*, total semua RM8.50. nasib baik cukup duit nk bayar. klu tak jenuh nk pikir camner nk bayar.

lps makan trus balik umah.sampai2, trus siram my rumput. bnd2 yg kena buat ialah nk simpan pinggan mangkuk dlm almari & mop the sticky floor. malam tadi ada families dtg umah. dkt 20 oranglah jugak semuanya & semua pinggan mangkuk kluar. tp sbb penat lps menyiram, I took a break by switcing on my notebook. bls emal sket2 + surfing ala kadar. masa balik tu dh pukul 4.30pm. so at 5pm tu I dh mula turun bawah.. basuh pinggan, simpan pinggan, menyapu & mop. semua siap by 5.45. naik atas,semahyang asar & @6pm, br kluar amik MyP. masa tu mmg dh rasa x larat. bila dh amik makcik kecik mmg tak leh rehat langsung. aku rs mmg nk tidur sgt2 tp banyak kejelah plak nk buat. preparation utk the next day. mr.s plak balik masa maghrib tu. so, for dinner kitaorg kluar. on the way dlm keter tu, mmg aku dh plan nk minum nescafe tarik kurang manis. itulah sbb skrg dh nk pukul 1pagi pun aku still x leh tido.

another interesting story to share.. masa on the way makan tu tanyalah myP, nk makan kt mana. jawapan dia... secret recipe @ old town@ papparich. x nak makan kt kdi makan2 biasa. amboiiiiii...tp bila tanya knp? dia kata sbb kedai2 biasa tu kotor & banyak lalat. ye, myP mmg sgt pembersih & cerewet. tappi x adalah kita ikut apa dia nak. Makan kt warung kt area umah kitaorg jugak je, hhehehe

oklah. nk tgk DH jap...

Once in a while...

for this entry, nak buat curahan perasaan sket. I don't know what getting it my mind but I really need to clear it off.

Thank God I am taking a day off today, managed to do major spring cleaning, hehhehehe. ANW, while cleaning I did a lot thought about myself, my career the most, hmmm. How to say this? Or how to write this actually????

How to begin??????

OK, let start with my career path. I think I can be categorized as a smart student when I was undergrad and I believe it wasn't just me who thought about that. I am not puji diri sendiri. I joined my current workplace in 2000 with hope I would have a smooth sail journey but we could only plan, The rest is depends on Him, Allah s.w.t. To cut the story short, I only got my PhD 9 yrs after that and how sad of that, compared to other frens. Not just that, my colleague, we went to UK for PhD on the same day but diff flight, he already got his ass. prof title & he is much younger than me, huhuhuhu. & during my induction course that I went recently, there is a new lecturer same like me but she is just 26 yrs old. Suddenly I felt so lame :(.

ANW, I should proud of myself too, Why? because it's very rare to know someone that can finish their phd exactly in 3 yrs, especially in eng field (exception to my former dean, r*d*n) and with me pregnant that time, that was such an achievement. Once reported back to duty.. I got my senior lecturership. That was my 'anchor' when I was doing my PhD. I really wanted to complete my study ASAP for that and Allah is always with me. He made my path went smoothly.

Seems like I am one happy, aren't I? But why I still feel empty now. I exactly know why. In the recent dept meeting, there was a discussion on performance evaluation. you have to get 80% & above to get annual increment, etc. failure to get that, you'll be in big troubles. this is exactly what my HOD said. There are 2 main things that if you fail producing in this 2 things, u'll definitely will never get 80%. and it's really make me upset. why??? because I am targetting to get my AP in 3 yrs time. I am to strategize myself but until today, the chances are pretty slim. I still have no grant & no new published journal. Well, I have some grant applictions but still no result. But the the thing that make me feel terrible is the publication. I even haven't started writing, waarrgggh. And time flies with the light speed...waaaaa. I should start writing but I don't know, I always been hold up (by myself) from writing. I just need to force myself!!!. I have the material, that is one good thing right? Come on Anom!!!

There are some other things that make me down actually. This is another difficult thing to write. Hmmm. In my workplace, our the practise is normally when u write an article, you'll put ur other frens name together and in return, they'll put ur name in the papers. It's like a win-win situation. Sadly, I have no papers & I couldn't add any of my frens name anywhere. With that, nobody is offering to put my name in their paper, even my so-called gud frens. before this I didn't really mind but recently, being editor of this conference, i got to see all submitted papers. About this fren's paper, intially there were only 2 names, hers & other also gud fren of me. It's ok until recently she made some changes & I noticed another new name, which is also my fren and I know she didn't do contribute anything b'cos she just came back from long leave. Once I saw it, I really felt sad. I just wondered she never asked me about it. I know I shouldn't feel sad but I couldn't help it. Don't worry.. I never angry at her or others. It just me who feel little bit down/upset. the truth, I really feel worry about my KPI :(.

ANW, everytime I feel upset, I always try to counter it by thingking from the positive side. One way... I keep telling myself, what is the worst thing could happen if my KPI is less than 80%. I just will not get my increment & the chance for me to get AP will be slowed down. So?? It's not that bad . It's not like it will be the end of the world....b'cos my current pay is enough for everything, right? Why I need to worry so much? What matter the most is to keep happy b'cos as long as you happy, everything will be OK. Besides, i think I am going to do exactly the same thing what I did when doing my PhD. what is it?? Just go with the flow!!! It's already written up there my destiny, my path, etc. Everything happens for a reason :). What I need to do is USAHA. Nothing comes free & I will definitely not going to push myself.

Last night, Mr. S talked about life & it really opened my eyes, heart & mind. That was when I think... yeah, let's just go with the flow & be grateful with what I already have. If my rezeki to get AP in 3 yrs time, Allah s.w.t will give it to me, no matter what. USAHA tetap kena USAHA. Ooooo.. Mr. S also mention something about anchor in getting success. Yup.. I told myself, my anchor now is 'AP'. Anything that I do is anchored to AP. Fast or slow???? I don't know. I will just go with the flow...

If anybody ask about my success in doing Phd... my answer is always be a good wife :). By being a good wife to Mr.S, he is happy. When he is happy. I will happy too and when I am happy everything's gonna be great & that is what happened with my study. My Phd in 3 yrs time, Alhamdulillah.

However... since coming back from UK I spend very little time with Him :(. I recite quran much lesser now. Reading quran is another good way to soothe your heart and mind. I should spend more time with him, no ecxuse. With ramadhan is coming, I hope I will be better umat.

Got to go... writng this one long entry really make me relieve. The next thing I want to do is to share my feeling with Mr. S. he is such a good advisor, provided he is not with his X10. If not... his mind will be somewhere else when you're talking with him, huhuhuu.

random

ari ni ari membelek blog, baca my old entries, naik syok plak, hehheh. nk tulis panjang2 tak smpt, upload gambar jelah.

money..money..money..

nk ngadu2 sketlah. ngadu kt saper pun tak tau tp just nk sesi luahan perasaan lah kot. money matters lah ni. mmg betul org kata makin besar periuknya, makin besarlah keraknya kan. and I think this month is the worst. bulan ni banyak betul guna duit plastik. dhlah semua kad2 tu bukannya banyak sgt balance yg boleh guna sbb mostly ada zeropayment skim. semua payment tu utk sethn so boleh bayang lah braper banyak aku bur bulan2. tahun ni sebenarnya mmg perit sket. harap2 bila dh abis utang2 tu by end of this year bolehlah bernafas sket kan?

ada 3 CC yg kitaorg guna utk 0 interest ni. tp sebenarnya tu x ada masalh sgt sbb mmg kami dh allocate duit untuk bnd2 tu. cuma bulan ni terperanjat beruk lbh sket sbb dpt bil TNB 500, cukat pintu dkt 400, TM dkt 300. bukan ada tunggakan apa tp tak taulah semua dtg serentak. yg hampeh tu, bil TNB bulan lepas 25 ringgit jer. TM plak sejak kami sign up, ni 1st time byr bill. cukai pintu plak, masa nilah dia nk smpi.tu aku muskel, apsal duit belanja hari2 utk bulan ni mcm sket. harap2 bulan ni bill yg bkl sampai ni x memeranjatkan aku ler, klu tak poning makcik. lglah ujung bulan ni nk pegi penang, my bro nk tunang. tapi, bila tengok dr sudut lain..tuhan nk suruh aku berjimat, takpun banyakkan amal jariah agaknya. yalah, kata gaji dh naik sekali ganda tpi macam tak rasa jer.every month ada je bnd nk nk disettle.

Mr. S dah naik DS51, cam aku, so ada pertambahan rezeki lagi. harap2 I will manage the money efficiently. Tak naklah in debt dgn CC banyak sgt. dulu2 kitaorg ada 2 je cc, aku ada satu, Mr.S ada satu. dua2 maybank ngan kredit limit mmg ciput. masa kt uk, I managed to clear off all the debt. mmg masa balik tu rasa lapang giler, x ada utang tak ada apa. savings kt tabung haji aku dah buat untk renovation rumah. tp tulah bila dh start renovate rumah, macam2 kos ada maka bermulalah upacara menggunakan CC secara berleluasa tapi still berhemah. tapi skrg ni banyaklah kitaorg nk buat kt rumah ni. still nak budget jugak. sbb bz ngan keje opis, tak sempat nk plan betul2 lagi. tp the plan... by raya, semua yg nk dibuat akan siap, I'Allah.

tak apalah.. mls nk citer panjang. yg penting lps2 ni mmg aku monitor betul2 perbelanjaan kad kredit ni. belanja mmg tak kot I'Allah tapi just nk max the payment supaya cepat2 sket semua clear. tapi nk byr banyak2 pun x leh jugak. nnt tk ada duit nk belanja plak, kannnn. Mr. S mmg tak penah amik tau urusan duit2 ni semua. He trusts me 100% to manage our money. tu yg setiap kali dia nk beli barang (pls note brg2 dia semua super duper mahal) kena ngendeng aku dulu.

Rojak feeling

For the opening.. let see my 2 lovely kiddos...

I don't know what happen to me but I feel so sad, down and not happy. Me not like..hhuhuhu. Well, the main reason is b'cos of my monthly visitor (I think). What else? A day before it came, I was really down/sad & of course I didn't know why. I thought it was b'cos the subejct I teach this sem. I don't really like that subject b'cos not challenging enough, hehheh. I like subjects with full of calcuation, experimentation. yet, this subject is more to theory. Hmmm. Well, this is where I need to be creative, I guess. Only the next morning I got my PMS & that naswers everything. ANW, this symptom is better. At least it didn't cause any cold/hot war between me & MyD. He just need to listen to my 'no reason' sadness, huhuhu. And this morning, suddenly I became too sentimental when I looked at my fren's snow pix in Soton. suddenly my tears just ran down & I miss soton very much. Earlier, when I was driving to office in the drizzle weather, the picture of me walking from home to uni in soton cam in my mind. Another thing that I miss a lot. It's just that in m'sia we spend lots of time in the car & looking at other ppl breaking the rules (traffic light, cut Qs,etc) , drive recklessly really make me feel sick & hate driving even more, huhu. Luckily I don't have to drive everyday, if not.... God knows what will I turn into, hehhehe


I think it's been quite sometimes since I blog about my work place. hmm. Nothing interesting to share about but one thing that I know.. study is much fun & I hate teaching, huhuhu. Before teaching started, there are like so many paperwork to prepare. Well, since I like clerical work, so no complaint at that. I will just follow the procedure. However...the system is ppfftfttftftf. B4 this they had another system but don't know why but they change to a new one. Same thing but different version. Well, it looks much better but when I start using it... c**p. I've used the same thing when I was a TA in soton. Unlike here, the system is very user friendly & I don't need to ask around for support. Everything is well documented. Just imagine, few days ago, I wanted to upload my lecture notes but failed. I tried to look for info in the handbook but nada. I almost gave up & but finally, the reason was b'cos the version of my file. The system couldn't accept the latest version of Office. This is one thing. The other thing... online approval thingy. I already submitted my form more than 2 wks & need approval from HoD. But until today.. nada. because of the system bug. yeah... so much on IT nowadays. I don't know, should I complaint or cherish?? Hmmm.


Despite of this unhappy stuff, I feel happy though. Why??? hehhehehe. Of course it's about $$$$. Yup, after 10yrs being a tutor,now I officially a lecturer with a very handsome increment (with backdated somemore). Alhamdulillah. but with that too, it means larger responsibility & life getting tougher. aarrghh. everything is KPI & one of the important things is research. something that I don't really interested in. However, will try & follow the flow exactly like what I did during my Phd. I won't force myself to climb urgently but will enjoy the view until i reach the top.


Got to stop now. I actually write this entry in the morning & now it's already 4pm. Yes.. I do lots of otehr things while typing. my class is less than an hour & it's 2 hrs clas...waarrghhhhh

bz nya saya

ish..ish... my 'stereotype' statement: asyik ingat nk update tapi tulah dok bz manjang, huhuhu. Serious, tak sempat nk update blog. Ingat nk tulis kt opis but the moment masuk my opis mmg tak ada masa nk tulis. keje tak abis2. ini sem baru dh mula, lglah tak ada masa. bila dh smpi umah, lglah aku mcm lipasa kudung sampailah myCC falls asleep. klu dia tidur awal oklah tp like tonight. I don't know what has gotten into her. dia punya hyper active, masya Allah. aku rasa mesti few bites banana cake yg aku suap dia td. lesson to be learnt.. never feed her something sweet. aku ingat coklat je yg boleh bagi dia hyper active.

tiba2 rasa ngantuk yg amat ni. alahai... br nk start tulis dh x ada mood. tak apa aku cuba paksa jugak. MyP dh mula sekolah ari ni. alhamdulillah, dia tak nangis. risau jugak tp I guess sbb dia dh besar sket. ada jugak sedih2 mula2 tu tp dia tahan. aku as usual, lps antar dia masuk kelas trus kluar tp si bapaknya duk melayan/ meleweh kt dlm kelas tu temankan myP. dah masuk std. 2 pun nk kena pujuk2 lg. the funny thing was... budak2 lain tak ada pun parentsnya meneman. nmpk sgt my anak bujang ni manja terlebih. the main diff between sekolah kt uk ngan sini is the money. sgt berbeza. bila aku congak2, dekat rm2k nk kn bayar utk his skool. itu termasuk fees dialah. tulh, saper suruh gatal antar kt private skool. stationary plak... dia nk semua transformers. bapaknya plak tak nak beli yg pirate2. nk kn original; merchandise. hahh kauu... amik. school bag je dh 100. ish..ish.. manalah ubat kt kepala ni tak main banyak2. agaknya the next 2,3 yrs dh putih semua kepala aku. oh tidakkkk

psl myCC, at 8 months I think her progress is quite fast. believe it or not dia dh pandai on her own, w/out support/holding at anything. klu ikut since Nov kot tp 2,3 ari ni mmg dh stable abis. aku kira tadi..she can stand steadily about 10 - 15 s which i think lama lah jugak. and dia dah tak suka dlm walker dia. her movement is limited lah tu. also, dh ada gigi sebijik kt blah bawah. suka gigit org & sakit plak tu klu dia gigit. dia dah pandai salam & kiss klu disuruh. so cuuttteee. Betulllll. yg lg best, klu pegang phone dh pndi letak kt telinga tu. tp sempat lagi sumbat phone tu dlm mulut2. budak2 ni semua bnd masuk mulut.

last but not least our BM house. very slowwww progress. tp harap2 by end of this month boleh masuk. bnyk bnd dh install... klu ikut boleh dh nk duduk tp kt porch blum siap completely. lgpun ada banyak bnd2 kecik nk di touch up.

oklah. aku dh super duper ngantuk. bbbaabbababai

Macam-macam ada Part 1

hmmm... susahnya nk update blog skrg ni. I thought when scored is over, banyak lah free time. I was totally wrong!!. macam2 benda nk citer tapi keje scored tak abis lagi tp hopefully, the next few days bolehlah settle. Itupun bnyk bnd aku buat sndr. nk tunggu info dr org lain, I wonder bila boleh abis. anyway, biarlah. at least I am happy sbb bnyk bnd scored are my effort solely. With jut a little instruction, I managed to finish the task. Lagipun..I mmg suka keje2 clerical, secretary ni, hehheh. The new semester plak begin next week. tambah lagi new task.

apa nak citer ek..

Citer 1: Finally, I got the long awaited letter. My appointment letter as the sr lect, alhamdulillah. The interview was about 1 month ago. After more than 9 yrs b'gaji ciput, huhuhuhu dpt merasa gaji besar sket. tp nk smpi ke tahap ni, mmg not an easy & pleasant experience. tp suratnya br dpt tadi. bnyk paperwork nk kena complete. I actually owe an entry about my journey since I joined until 2day. tapi tulah...bila ntah nk citer. tunggu2 jelah yer. MyD plak...hopefully soon. tunggu senate letter from soton dulu, then br boleh proceed.

Citer 2: The BM progress. currently tgh buat renovation kt porch depan. major works dlm umah dh siaplah. tp keje remeh temeh banyak jugak. klu diaorg buat keje consistent, hopefully by the end of this year dh boleh masuk. tapi my mom advice lah plak jgn pindah umah waktu bulan muharram & i'll listen to her advice. mls nk cari nas/dalil knp except just listen. myD pun ok bila aku cakap kt dia. so, we'll move in i'allah after mid of jan next year. anyway, mmg satu rahmat bila dpt appointment letter td sbb duit dh makin menyusut, yet ada bnd lagi yg nk dibuat but tak ada budget. bolehlah cover2 sket kan. klu dpt backdated, dble alhamdulillah :).so, skrg mmg very careful with the money flow. every single cent counts. MyP pun dh nk masuk drjh 2 next yr. sekolah kt sini lain mcm kt uk which is semua free. fees, buku dll semua dh almost 1.5k. mmg betullah statement, semakin besar periuk semakin tebal lah keraknya. I just need to plan the expenses & spend wisely of course... But, since coming back from UK, my shopping is desire is so huuugggeeee but still controllable, hehehhehe.

Citer 3:My kids.. since MyD went outstation for a week. The eldest makin manja. Normally, ngan abah dia ajer. MyCC tu x payah cakaplah. anywhere, anytime..ummi aje. she is so different to her bro. she will be turning to 8 mnths in couple of weeks yet dia dh boleh berdiri on her own. I guess tak lama lagi boleh jalan on her own lah tu. oo...dia sgt aktif yer. seriously.... semput dibuatnya. One thing I love about her is the way she eats. She can eat the porridge that I cook for her easily, unlike her abang. bercinta nk suruh mkn when he was at her age. few days ago we went to KLCC & i bought her jar food. Guess what?? She didn't like them at all!!Ummi kena masak slalu lah ni. MyCC is such a lovely girl.. I really love to see when these 2 siblings playing 2gether. full of laughter & I think MyCC has the sweetest smile. Oh waitt, I remember MyP's teacher once told me that she liked to see MyP's smile, very sweet.

Suddenly i lost my mood to write anymore. Blame it to MyD.. he is the one who spoiled my mood. The truth... my PMS is around the corner & the mood swing is already attacking me.....

Hopefully tomorrow I can continue my macam2 ada part 2 story with pictures of course. I left the cable & the card reader as well at the office...bubbye

Penatttttt

seriously.. I am tired, physically & mentally exhausted & it's only been 2d since MyD left for penang. he is due to come back not until sat & yeah...I keep counting the days. Can't wait for him to come back even though I know he doesn't really help in managing stuff but with him beside me I feel happy, comfortable. and I don't mind to do everything. The least that he can do is listening me nagging, nagging and nagging, hheheheh & of course to hold MyCC.

ANW, do you want to know what I did today? OK, I woke up about 6.30am b'cos MyCC already awake. It's become her routine now to wake up around 6. Reason being.. she wants to poo.Then I have to play with her & in the same time, try to some other stuff. Pray, brush teeth, take bath,etc,etc. Very multitasking. I have to distract her with anything in order for me to get the stuff done. Like yesterday, my MIL helped me to look after her while I was ready for work. But not today as my MIL was staying overnight at the hosp & my FIL was bz with his work. Around 7.30am I left for work. MyP was still sleeping. However he cried this morning when I wanted to go. He said he was lonely & wanted me to stay with him. My poor baby. I guess w/out MyD around we all feel lonely. i tried my best to spend time with him, not just on MyCC. MyP is one sensitive boy & I don't want him to think that I neglect him. Luckily, he is in his best behavior, so no headache or whatever.

Reached office 10 min past 8am & my bz day begin. fortunately TV3 is ok already, so I feel so energetic to do some works. Working + surfing simultaneously!!!. I tapu'ed fried bihun 4 breakfast and At lunch, I went out with a colleague that I knew since b4 I joined UPM. Catched up on each other & yeah, I had a good time. Then, continued doing work until about 4pm. Performed my zuhur & then off to MyD's relative place. I had to take them to the Putrajaya hosp with me, to visit the new member to the family. Stayed at the hosp until the visiting hrs ended. Then drive home back to semenyih. Luckily MyCC was in a very good mood when we're in the hospital. so anybody can hold her & I could relax :). but still, it was very tiring. Supposedly, my SIL wll be discharged 2morrow. glad I don't hv to go to the hospital again.

Reached home about 9pm. MyCC poo poo, tidy up the room, prepare the stuff for tomorrow & to make it worst, I have ulcers. yup, not one but two. As usual, whenever I have ulcer, it always come with a headache or tootache, hhuuu. and that make me even more tired.

I am so sleepy now. cannot write anything anymore. ANW, in 1 min, i'll be 34 yrs old. Happy Birthday to me. MyD already wished me jst now.

drama queen

hhehe.... pagi tadi aku jd drama queen. tak tau knp, sensitif semacam. benda kecik pun aku pikir besar. siap2 nangis tu tapi bila aku pikir2 blik, aku tahu kenapa. aku dh stress lah tu. br je aku cakap ngan MyD 2,3 ari lepas... aku cakap aku mmg kena balik kg, at least lps 2,3 minggu. bukannya apa klu duk rumah PIL aje tak pegi mana2, aku jadi stress. my MIL mmg super cerewet, most of the times aku mmg tak layan sgt, dengar ajelah apa dia bebel. tapi bila lama2, aku jadi rasa nk menjawab aje bila dia berleter tu. tak naklah aku menjawab sbb MyD mesti tak suka punya. aku dah perasan, bila aku br lps balik dr johor, aku cool sket. apa my MIL leterkan aku tak terasa sgt. hmmm. nasib baiklah weekend ni balik kampung. boleh cool kan sket my mind ni.


anyway, balik pada citer pagi tadi. Aku bangun tidur dgn happynya sbb mlm tadi MyCC tidur lena. bangun utk susu aje tp itu x ada hal sbb dia still breastfeed. bila pg toilet tgk2 x ada air. so, lps semahyang sambung baring atas katil. cuti sekolah pun dh mula so takyahlah rush nk kluar cepat2. masa baring2 semula tulah, MyD kluar citer dia borak2 ngan tukang buat umah smpi kul 11.30 mlm. aku tny borak apa lama sgt. his reply...macam2 lah. pastu aku tny balik... ada remind dia tak pasal pintu pagar kecik tu. dia jawab tak.. mula aku jadi super sensitif. nk citer panjang2 kt sini malas. tapi yg buat aku jd nak merajuk tu... anything yg aku cakap, mesti dia buat sambil lewa aje. cuba klu bnd tu dia mmg nak buat, laju je dia buat. mmg betul pun sebenarnya tapi bila argue dgn dia dia kata tak betul.. typical him lah kan, mana penah nk kalah. pastu psl grill umah pun satu hal. dia dh tny tukang psl grill semua & he quoted us cheap jugaklah compared to others. aku cakap aku tak nak w/pun dia murah sbb chances of delay sgtlah besar. thinking or lamabat lagi masuk umah mmg betul2 buat aku tension. another argument with myD lah. dia sibuk nk murah..murah... dia tak sedar agaknya bnyk bnd yg dia nk buat tu costly jugak tp less important compared to the grill tu. but again... ngan MyD mmg susah nk berlawan..asyik dia aje yg betul. dahlah siap tak mengaku bila aku cakap yg dia slalu lupa klu melibatkan bnd2 yg aku suka/nak for the house. Aku kena remind him again and again. tp klu bnd tu bnd2 dia, laju je call sana sini, tak menyempat2 nk pg beli barang cepat. manalah aku tak sedih kan? *sob,sob,sob*.


my whining ni bukannya apa.. I expect he will respect what I want too. banyak bnd jugak psl rumah tu aku tak berapa setuju but dia nak jugak, aku ikut jelah. Same as me... there are things that I want according to my liking tapi susah betul dia nk ikut. anginlah gua. mesti ada argument barulah dia setuju.nk bagi dia rsa guilty, aku siap cakap, anything dia cakap/suruh tak penah aku lupa which is mmg betul pun. Every single detail yg dia cakap mesti aku akan ingat & akan buat. Secretary lah katakan....



tp mcm aku tulis tadi.... aku tension2 ni sbb asyik terperuk kt umah PIL aje. My life cuma pegi balik keje. bila dah stress tu yang senang nak angin2 ni. otak rasa tepu dah & I need to take some time off from that house. balik kampung pun dh cukup. every time lps balik kampung, mmg ada rasa rejuvenate sket. lgpun lps nangis2 sket pg tadi dah rasa lega banyak. plus, bila lps buat2 drama ni, MyD ni pay more attention to what I say, hehhehe. bolehlah nk demand lebih2 sket.

cerita ceriti

the past few weeks until last weds mmg i was so busy with scored09 stuff. I even didn't have time to read my fav blogs, apatah lagi to update this blog. Now i can breath a bit but don't know for how long. Inilah masanya for me to update this blog marathonly, hehhehe. apa nak citer ek? kita buat number by number lah.

1. During the scored09 event, I had a phone conversation with my colleague. We work in the same off/dept & we usually communiacte through YM/phone. One of the topics during than conversation was someone big at our place 'merajuk' we forgot to invite him to the dinner. In my opinion, we should meet him & ask for his forgiveness b'cos it was totally our fault. serious lupa nk jemput dia & others too actually.sebenarnya bukan nk citer about his merajuk'ness but about him. for me, I think he is someone yg very comitted to his work. he is in quite high position in U*m now but he always have time to small matter like dept meeting,etc. even masa 1st day scored tu dia dtg paid us a visit, to see how we were doing. for me I think it was very nice of him. My colleague ni then told me, yg my other colleague tak boleh nk ngam/msuk dgn dia. reason.. dulu dia penah jadi our immediate boss & during that time dia penah 'sound' my colleague b'cos kes tutor cuti belajar nilah. My colleague mmg kecik ati & couldn't accept on what he said. Since that, she doesn't want to involve with anything yg ada Boss ni. Then I shared my experience with her too. I never actually told anybody about it except MyD, aku pun penah kena sound ngan dia & I can still remember his words, word by word yg menghiris kalbu tu. Cuma I don't want to really think about it tapi everytime jumpa dia tak tau nk borak sgt b'cos of his words tu. But I will respect him as a senior but to adore him on his success/achievement tu, maybe not lah kot. there's another sr stuff in my dept yg aku rasa 'kureng' jugak.. the same reason.. he said something yg buat aku ni mcm troublemaker ajer. I knowlah my career path is not as smooth as them but i am still a human being, huhuhuhu. anyway, tak adalah aku dendam bagai cuma just rasa ada gap between me & them. lagipun i always believe the best revenge is by living well & that is what i plan to do :).

2. yesterday, i had my lectureship interview & hopefully will get the DS51 appointment letter soon. banyak nak pakai duit ni. Anyway, what i want to write here is not about the appointment but on what happened during the interview. There were only 2 candidates from my fac. me & the other fella from other dept. This is a bit of *menganyam ketupat* session. i think that fella talk big about himself. We came back to work about almost the same time but the way he talked like, he already ahead in everything. he already submitted for grant applications & each application is more than 100k. for me it's ok to mention that b'cos we've been asked by the panel. It's just that the way he talked... very 'berdegar-degar'. And I can see that the TNCA didn't really happy with his style. as for myself, I have nothing interesting to shout about. yalah, balik2 lapor diri mmg nk lepak2 dulu, hehehheheh. Aku ni pemalas low profile orangnya. I just need to strategize myself(tiru ayat my HOD) ajer. of course I don't want to stay at static position forever tapi tak naklah jadi workaholic sgt.

3. about the recently event, if you ask my personal opinion how was it? Ok..not too bad tapi since the venue ni quite huge, so tak nampak crowd yg ramai. I handled 2 sessions yg mana each session should ada 6 presenters. tp yg turn up x ramai pun. audience lagilah x ader. lagilah topic aku ni tak brape menarik lagi tertarik. in term of organizing plak, macam not really well organized. ada bnyk gak ke'kelam kabut'an yg I think shouldn't be a problem klu di rectify dr awal. anyhow, adalah ilmu yg aku dpt from the event & that is more important than other thing.

4. the last point ni mmg boring sketlah. about my weight. tension guaa. seblm balik m'sia dulu aku dh lama sedar my weight akan naik punya. tapi bila lps bersalin ari tu my weight mmg very unbelieavable. 47kg tuuu!!!! masa tu perut mmg kempis aje tak buncit langsung. peha kecik, lengan kecik. dah lama tak se'slim' macam tu. So, ak berazam lah konon2 nya nk maintain this weight for as long as possible. & nampaknya tak lama mana pun maintain slimnya, huhuhu. last weds, my latest weight is 50.5kg.WAAAAAAA. dlm nk maintain my weight, aku jagalah jugak mn eating habit. campur lagi mkn NR punya pil & USANA punya milkshake. but still naik jugak. 3 kilos in 3 mth ++, huhuuSo, what i'll do after this I'll just control my eating habit. tupun nk control light2 ajer. aku nk buat sit up aje very day. so far, the past few days aku I managed to do sit up, 20-30x. apa yg buat berat naik ek??? I guess sbb kurang exercise kot. dulu2 kat uk, banyak jalan kaki. mmg natural punya exerciselah kan. will see lah. klu naik jugak, nk buat camno.

oklah. nak pi semahyang.. nak balik dhas at agi ni. Apa yg aku buat ari ni. adalah jugak something, hehheh. oklah drpd nan ado kan?

ini lah....

Presenting my 'bidan terjun' effort....... the program book & the cd proceeding of SCOReD 2009. Cantikkan? hehheheh.

balik2 lapor diri trus di ajak join as committee. I thought just tolong2 orang. I was totally wrong!!! end up from A to Z aku buat. Mmmg tergagau2 aku cari info. Nk memaham kan satu hal, nk membuat another different thing. orang yg sepatutnya aku tolong trus ilang ntah di mana. Dia pun ada another commitment.. no hal lah bro, hehhehe. dah siap bolehlah ckp no hal. masa tgh stress nk menyiapkan tu, adalah angin sket2. tapi typical me... klu angin pun angin sorang2.

anyway, hasilnya... dr segi luaran, oklah. tapi dalam tu banyak gak typo/ grammatical error. nk buat camno, aku buat2 tak ada saper yg edit. klu adapun sket2 or masa tu dh antar for printing. yg cd tu plak, lagilah aku bangga. bila aku tgk cd2 proc. conf2 lain, aku tgk ada autorun function. aku pun nk buat camtulah. jenuh duk google sana, google sini, tanya orang tu, tanya orang ni... akhirnya aku berjaya buat jugak. again, sorang2. Seriously, aku rasa pengalaman buat phd teach me on setiap benda pasti ada penyelesaiannya. kita kena usaha aje.

Lps2 ni klu nk suruh aku buat 2 benda ni. mmg kacang lah, hehehh. In fact, will be improved punya sbb aku dh tau camner nk buat dgn cara yg lbh efficient. Less error of course.

oklah, nk buat entry pasal lain plak. aku tgh mood M.A.L.A.S nak buat keje.

monday blues

klu last monday aku rasa heppy & energetic semacam tapi ari ni rasa dull lah plak. last week hepi2 bila dpt email ckp duit elaun thesis dh masuk. bukan sikit. banyak plak tu. aku ingat 2,3k aje tgk2 dkt 6k. alhamdulillah. dgn k'daan skrg yg mmg nk pakai duit ajo. not long after that dpt call dr bank rakyat. cakap loan dh approve & kena pg sign. dble alhamdulillah.. dah terbayang rumah ku syurgaku kt BM nun.

ari ni aku rasa mcm down gile. tak tau knp. rasa tak da mood pun ada tapi x adalah teruk sgt down'nya. hehehheh. hmmm, ntahler. pagi tadi dlm keter dh cakap ngan MyD, bila tgk renovation kt BM tu rasanya mcm banyak aje keje lagi nk buat. MyP pun tiba2 tanya bila kita nk pindah umah. dari hari ke hari mcm ada aje bnd baru nk ditambah. nk tambah tu nk kena contact sana sini. dulu2 ingatkan nk renovate bhgn dapur ngan depan aje. tiba2 terpikir nk renovate sket2 kt toilet atas. mn nk pikir wiring, piping lagi. hmmm. nothing much can be done except waiting je lah :).



last week was really a bz week. kat opis mmg ada bnd nk disiapkan & bukan sket plak tu. kdng2 ada gak aku rasa angin. I mean aku balik2 trus dibagi keje sedebuk tapi bnd2 tak di bagi semua. terhegeh2 jugaklah aku duk mintak. tapi so far so good. apa yg aku plan nk siapkan dh siap. nak sambung lagi buat tapi tak boleh. yg aku update blog ni pun sbb tak leh nk smbg siapkan. kena tunggu file2nya dr org lain yg tak lah nk bagi kt aku skrg sbb sibuk ngan keje lain. pastu sibuk uruskan psl rumah. maakk aiiiii penatnya aku rasa. aku rasa almost everyday lps balik keje kena singgah mana2 nk tgk/beli barang. penatt weeeii. MyCC pulak demam minggu lepas. nasib baik demam biasa2 aje. aku rasa demam dia tu sbb dia dh nk pndi duduk & berdiri. yup. syra dh pandai pegang kt bdn aku & cuba berdiri. pastu, she is a very good girl. w/pun nk tidurkan dia malam2 punyalah susah. dia dh ngantuk sgt tp masih nk main jugak. tergolek sana sini still tak leh tidur. pening kepala aku. dia tu sebenarnya dh jenis tidur nk berbuai. ptg semlm for example, dia dh ngantuk lama sgt. punyalah aku cuba susukan dia atas katil, tepuk2, dukung tak tidur jugak. skali aku masukkan dlm buai, x smpi seminit trus tidur. anak dara ku tu... ooohh, btw, she'll be 6 mnths next week & she is ready for her solid food already. klu kitaorg makan, mmg dia dh sibuk dh nk makan jugak.



weekend pun sibuk. patutnya sabtu tu ada graduation my SIL kat uitm. nk dijadikan citer. since she is pregnant, tak dibenarkan attend the ceremony sbb takut H1N1. frust jugak dia tapi nk buat camne. so sabtu kami kluar pg carik tiles. from nilai to kajang to other part of kajang. pegi 3 kedai aje tp penat dia jgn cakaplah. kluar pukul 10 pg & balik umah smula kul 3.30pm. nasib baik MyP tak ikut. yg ikut cuma MyCC. yalah my MIL tak ada offer nk tolong jagakan pun. pun another thing yg buat aku bengang/terasa. mcm semlm pun kitaorg kluar lagi psl rumah. pg kluar, petang pun kluar. ptg tu pg tgk umah sbb org cabinet nk dtg ukur. again, MyP tak nak ikut, MyCC mestilah ikut sbb you know why. Dlm keter tu aku dh ckp kt MyD, mak dia tak ada pun nk offer jaga. dh petang bukannya dia ada keje nk buat except tgk tv aje. apalah salahnya dia offer nk jaga. lgpun aku ngan sywal bukannya nk pg mana.huhuhuhu. yg buat angin bukannya apa...balik petang tu diaorg tgh borak2 kt ruang tamu. aku ingat nk naik atas nk susukan syra. boleh plak masa nk naik dia suruh letak MyCC ngan diaorg. nak main2 katanya. aku mcm berasap aje. klu nk main2 tu jaga lah skali. ini suka time budak tu ok aje. bila nangis br nk pass kt mak dia. MyD pun mmg tak penah nk suruh his mom jaga. the reason.. dia tau mak dia tak suka jaga even cucu sendiri. bayangkanlah almost 3 mnths duk situ, MyCC tak ada suka kt saper2 pun excpet me, MyD & MyP. even antar pg nursery pun dia dh tak nangis skrg.



oklah. mls nk leter2 lagi. now at least aku rasa ok sket, hehheheh. lagipun pagi2 tadi aku dh ngadu2 sket ngan syawal psl kes semlm. as usual dia senyum, which means he agrees with me.

After 2 months and 20 days

.... we're almost settled down & getting busy and busier everyday, huhuhu. But I love our new life here.

Once in a while I do miss UK tho'. I miss my strolled from the house to the office, feasting my eyes with the same surrounding every day & never got bored of it. after 3 yrs of walking thru the same route, I knew my SV's fav parking spot, hehheh. What else did I miss?? Oh yes, I miss our family-bonding session which is seating on our big sofe & watching TV. I don't know why but it is so difficult to watch TV here. We normally reach home about 5pm. Upon arriving, I make sure all our stuff (MyP's skool bag, his uniform, MyCC's nursery bag, etc,etc) are looking good as I don't want my MIL unhappy if she looks her house in messy condition. I am so bz at night, preparing stuff for the next morning & by the time I finish, I can hardly open my eyes, huhuhu. Syafique too, by 9pm, he already very sleepy & he has to wake up at 6.15am. About watching TV together, the funny thing was, the day I thought about not watching TV for so long, in that very same day, MyP asked MyD whe we haven't watch TV together like we always do when we're in UK. MyD answer was wait until we move into our own house soon, InsyaAllah.

About our BM renovation. I think it's progressing well. It started end of last month & the last time we went there, the workers already knocked down the walls. The walls for the wet kitchen & the guest room are already up even earlier. the 'not-so' major works are in the back area & then, they need to do some work on the porch area. After that, just 'make up' process & we can move in. However, at the moment we're quite bz on deciding/designing everything and time is always the problem as me & MyD bz with the work stuff. even though, my class hasn't started yet but I'll be assisting a conf. organized by my dept which will be next month. I'm in charge on the program book & the proc. They haven't started anything yet when I came & seems like they're now my responsibility, huhuhuhu. Well. at least I have things to do. If not...I don't know what to do except browsing the net, hahahhah.

since coming back from UK, the most noticeable difference between UK and M'sia is we're really exhausted here. It's really hard to feel relax and calm. Everyday, weekdays and weekend we always have something to do. another reason why I don't have much time to watch TV anymore. In UK, our life is only to office. On weekend to CBS. Once in a while there maybe xtvities, like during raya. We also could go for family holidays at least 4 times a yr. But now.. I am too tired to plan for a holiday, huhuhuhu.

this weekend will ber another tiring weekend. We have few invites already & I don't know if we can go to all of them. MyD has function with KCD frens on Sat & I'll not be not joining him. I know it's gonna be a boring function, at least for me.

Back to work...

I report back to duty few days b4 hari raya but officially start work only after the hari raya hols. So, until today, I've been to work about one week. Everything is ok so far. Simplest word ... still relax, hence several entries in one day, ehhehehhehe.

the 1st thing that I did was cleaning/dusting the room. Then, setup the internet connection & I can go online, yeay!!. Settle some paperwork & then I have nothing to do. So I told everyone, I don't know what to do. Then my fren asked for my help. What help?? Shred her exma papers... big pile of them. Don't worry I am more than happy to help. At least it can kill some of my free time, hehhehe. It took me several days to finish that tho'. Then I helped this fren too, to give training for short course in micro-c. luckily I had experience of this subject & still remember part of it. I enjoyed the training & another good thing.. it is not free so I might get small token from that. The truth, I don't mind even if it's free. The course was only for 2 days & now I am jobless again. I've been asked to join the committee for the conf. that is organized by our dept. Again, i am happy to help. Besides, it will be helpful for my KPI. Also, I've been asked to give presentation for the 1st yr student. Ok...no problem for me. To cut it short, I think I enjoy my life now, family + carrier.


I got my own spacious office with my own telephone line (can call outside by pressing '9' only). I got a new computer too. Even though the monitor is not as big as in soton but with a very fast internet connection. I've nothing to complain. I ordered the PC in the morning & I got it that same morning. What a very efficient service. Not just this computer. yersterday afternoon, I lodged a complain on my door's knob. And this morning, when I came, it's been fixed. B4 this I prefer to just stay in the room b'cos it took me ages to lock/unlock the door. But..not anymore after this. I am very happy :).


so now I just waiting to be appointed as a lecturer. I've submitted all the documentation & just wait. hope it'll be soon. but being a tutor for 10 yrs, make me redha for his rezeki. klu ada rezki, I'Allah tak kemana & I just need to be patient. The only downside of the lecturer's appoitment is since UP* is a RU, I need to think about reserach, research and research but I am very lazy slow about it, huhuhu. and typical me.. I don't want to think about it yet. I will just go with the flow & see where it will take me.

The gud thing about not bz yet is me & syawal need to go around to browisng for the house stuff, so I can take few hrs off from the off. I may not be coming tomorrow *shhhh* b'cos need to settle few things. Talking about house stuff... $$$$headache$$$$

p/s: uploading pictures are very fast in the off *clap*clap*

selamat....

apa yang selamat tu??? hhehhehehe. jawapannya... saya selamat sampai ke opis bawak keter sendiri dr bangi. Since balik m'sia, ada sedikit cuak nk bawak keter. Navigation... saya mmg tip top tapi bila kena drive ni ada sediki MIM.ALIF.LAM.SIN. seblum drive tu dh pikir route2 yg saya akan lalu. nk cari the most convenient route for me. I don't like junctions & roundabouts. Luckily my route today semua OK. lalu hi-way lagilah ok. eventho' masa kt touch n'go, tangan tak sampai, huhuhu. keter bukak seta belt, pintu bagai. nasib baik after 8am, the traffic dh clear. tak ade keter kt blkg. klu tak lagilah cuak.

MD mmg tak kisah nk antar/ pick me up from the office. tapi ari ni dia ada keje smpi kul 5 and we need to pick up syafique at 4pm. tu yang nak tak nak, i have to drive. Luckily too, ada SAGA kt umah too. Beranilah bawak keter kecik2 ni. kalau kena bwk merce atau camry tu, mmg gigil lah lutut. as long as small cars with auto transmission, I'Allah boleh lagi bawak. klu kancil manual, pun boleh bawak lagik. E class syawal nnt mmg confirm takkan ku bawak. very the bulky!! anyway, my FIL kata the SAGA will be given to me jugak later2.(saya smbg bayar lah tapinya).

At the moment, saya malas lagi nk drive pegi/balik kejer. mungkin lps pindah lah kot br drive sendiri. Since yesterday, kami 4 beranak kluar pagi2. mula2 dropkan My cuppy cake kt nursery, then antar my pumpkin kt sekolah dia. pastu me & MD pg b/fast kt mana2 lah. siap b/fast semua br masuk opis masing2. luckily we work on flexible hrs so we don't have to rush. I still need to punch card tho'. lgpun I will teach not until Dec, so lagilah x yah rush.

klu ikut kira oklah duduk ngan PIL ni. I just need to think/settle about our needs jelah. gosok baju, prepare bag budak2, etc, etc. I don't have to cook. laundry pun my MIL tolong except baju syra saya basuh sendiri. melampaulah klu semua MIL yg buat. makin pemalas lah saya.

oklah nk sambung buat keje...( keje apa pun tak pikir lagi, hehehheheh)

Going home

After about 4-5yrs (masters & phd) in UK, InsyaAllah, tomorrow night we'll be going home for good & will leave southampton. Will we come back? I don't know. Hopefully.. one day. syawal said he wants to come for the his graduation next summer.

How do I feel??? At the moment..very tired as I still have lots of things to do. I need to make sure the house condition is as clean as possible for the next tenant to come in. Luckily the next tenant will be our fren. So I don't have to clear everything. Basically, the packing is almost done but what make me quite upset is I have to do everything on my own. syawal is not helpful at all *gggrrrr*. When I said I do everything, that means EVERYTHING. His task is only involve with the car, ticket,etc,etc. He started his forum activity already that make me really annoyed.

Anyway... I won't complain much b'cos 2morrow at the heathrow airport he must buy me something expensive & he definitely cannot say NO. We actually planned to go to Harrods yesterday. Since he sent the car for check up, we planned to rent a car. However, since we booked at a very last minute, there was no car available. Automatically the plan is cancelled and we went to the city centre instead for the last minute shopping. Well, I've checked what shops at the airport. Even though the brand that I wanted is not there, other brand will do, hehheheh. Well, that maybe our last shopping experience in UK. One of the things that I am gonna miss here is the shopping spree, huhuhuhu.... the outlet, CBS, ebay, amazon, etc,etc,etc

Frankly, I am not that excited to go back to m'sia yet. maybe b'cos of the tiredness. But I will miss Southampton, definitely *sob,sob,sob*

Dag, dig, dug......

Phooh.... don't know how to start. Well, today is syawal's big day and I think tve viva is already started. And me??? I am really nervous now. Hope he's doing great.

He left home about 9am this morning. He didn't really know what time is his viva but the internal examiner told him few days ago, maybe around 9.30am. Sometimes I feel pity of him b'cause he got a not very helpful SV. Can you believe it, his SV didn't even email him the time of the viva until 2day. not only this but syawal had to push him on everything. If not, I think I don't know when syawal will get his phd.

anyway..... my pray will always be with him. Can't wait for his call sooooon, I hope.